"Did you toot?"

It occurred to me this morning at 5:30 a.m. while I lay delirious in bed with fever and headache (a little dramatic, but not much), with a codependent one-year-old latched to my neck, how much what constitutes as normal household dialogue changed once we had kids. And by "normal" I mean dialogue by which no one is offended, embarrased or caused to giggle. For example, this morning at the same time as above noted delirium, Mike asks (very normally) "Did you toot or is that Joseph's diaper?" I was not offended. I was not embarrassed. I did not giggle. However, because my nose was clogged up like a...I'm no good with metaphors...it was clogged up, so I couldn't tell if it was Joseph's diaper or not. But I knew I had not tooted. Mystery solved.

But I started thinking about all the comments and questions like that one that, without second thought, fill our days anymore.

"Olivia, if I have to tell you one more time to take your pants off you are getting a spanking."

"It's not pee. He was playing in the dog bowl." Because you need to know before you pick the kid up if the wetness that is about to soak into your clothing as you slide him onto your hip is going to stink or stain.

"Mommy, I smell sumpin."
"What is it Olivia?"
"My bum."
"Olivia, do you have the toots?"
"Yeah! I do!"

In about 20 years our "normal" will probably change again. It will probably revolve less around bodily functions...maybe. Maybe there will be a little less mystery. Maybe certain topics will return to the realm of embarassing or offensive. Whatever happens I do know that Mike won't have to ask, "Did you toot?" Because he will know, if he didn't...