I wasn't even going to dignify the mouse with a blog post, but then I decided this is the only way to fairly warn it of its fate - a public announcement - a publishing if you will. We have a stupid mouse in our house. I found "evidence" when we returned from San Diego in a non-food, but close enough to food to make you want to puke, area of the house. I cleaned it up and moved on - grossed out, but hopeful. This weekend I found every package of powdered anything in my pantry open - including about 3 packages of yeast. (I was hoping it had made its way back outside and would just blow up from rising.) Thankfully, because I am slightly anal, I keep most things in our pantry in plastic or glass jars - it is my secret obsession with The Container Store (only I find places to buy the stuff cheaper). There really isn't much a mouse can get into in our pantry.
I cleaned up the mess and moved on again. No signs for a couple of days. Then "evidence" on the pantry shelf, but nothing eaten. Then nothing for a couple of days - then a hole in our bread bag. I almost had Mike convinced that the hole in the bread was just an air bubble in the loaf until we found the hole in the bag as well. In the process of eating our bread it also pooped on my Cooking Light magazines...I am getting a little hot about the matter. Isn't this why we have a dog!? Maybe we should have gotten a cat.
Then, tonight during supper it has the nerve to run across the kitchen floor from the pantry to the oven. If only our broiler was in the bottom of the oven... I think it must be getting desperate because it is venturing out into a room full of people with all the lights on. But it gets worse. Thinking the little varmit is under the stove, I get up to clean the kitchen, swing the pantry door open to toss something the trash and the nasty thing jumps on my face! No, just kidding. But we did come eye to stinkin' eye! Sort of...it was on the bottom shelf in the pantry, dangling its fat little self over our trash can. I just told Mike the other day as I was putting raw chicken scraps in there, "maybe that mouse will get in here and get salmonella."
Well I screamed and it jerked its head up as if I had just pulled back the shower curtain on its shower and ran...somewhere - I don't know where because I slammed the door closed. Of course Joseph is freaked out by all the commotion and starts crying and Mike thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever seen (since a couple of weeks ago when he put a rubber salamander on my shoulder that stuck to my shirt and I couldn't shake it off and started screaming because I thought it was a real bug - he really has a sick sense of humor and I AM NOT that girly - these are both very serious cases). Olivia on the other hand is thoroughly confused at my drama because we read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie about once a week and we just recently started reading Stuart Little. I told her mice CANNOT live in houses. They are dirty and carry diseases. She still seems a little more sympathetic than I am comfortable with. And Mike insists on calling it "she" which totally humanizes it!
Some dear friends of ours had a mouse recently. They tried effort after effort and finally ended up with their entire pantry in a plastic tub in their dining room. Let this mouse be warned: I will sit in the corner in the dark with a shot gun all night long before I will empty out my entire pantry into a tub in the kitchen. I am a Republican and I am from the South - I will shoot.
8 comments:
When i was reading this post and got to the part about the mouse jumping on your face - i stopped and put my hands over my face and pictured it for about 5 minutes. THEN I read "just kidding". DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR MOTHER!" Don't you think a shotgun is overkill? Pardon the pun. Don't they have mouse traps in St. Louis? PS: Men do have a sick sence of humor. It doesn't matter if they grow up with brothers or sisters either one feeds this sickness. I know what you mean though, mice are so cute on Christmas cards aren't they? Mom
I hate to mention this, but you sort of brought it up. You don't have rats around your dumpster area do you? Just thinking about your campout.
Mother! Thanks for reminding me - no, we don't have rats in our dumpster, but we do have opposums!
I'll be more than happy to give you a cat! :)
Well, they look like rats!
I knew it was three-legged, blind, and deaf, but I didn't know Jer's cat looked like a rat.
His cat is three-legged and deaf but not blind. I was talking about the oppossum looking like a rat. Maybe you are thinking about 3 blind mice - now that would be fun!
I am sorry but is there a real need to point out the handicaps that my cat has?? She could still catch a mouse and she is frreeeee!
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