I felt horrible. I was done with the clippers, I thought, so I had taken the guard off to trim around the edges. After trimming the top with scissors I decided one area needed to be thinned out a little more. Oh no. That is just what I kept saying over and over.
It was horrible. Greta was getting baptized the next morning. He was getting ready to go before a committee for ordination in a week and a half...I was totally forgetting it would actually grow back.
He laughed. I could not believe it. I would have been TICKED. I kept thinking of all the ways I could make up for it - but I couldn't. His hair was already too short for a comb over - though Joseph would have loved that as comb overs are his favorite. I couldn't glue it back on. I could color his scalp with a Sharpie, but really was that making up for it? And plus, they don't make Sharpie in a dirty blond color. I could not believe I had done it. I even tried to blame him a little - "You should not let me cut your hair when I am so sleep deprived."
As he went to access the damage and I busied myself in the kitchen trying to forget it, I realized how much that hole was like my sin. Now, I promise I am not trying to over spiritualize here. But I sensed this loud and clear. My whole life I have been able to make up for my sin - humanly speaking. I never did anything bad enough to ruin me (again, humanly speaking). I could cover up most things - with good excuses, lies, trying harder, smoke and mirrors. I am good at this. I shouldn't be telling it out loud, but there it is. I am.
But spiritually speaking. Eternally speaking. Redemptively speaking. I can do nothing about my sin. It is just a big gapping hole. And there is only One who can "deal" with it. Atone for it. Expose it. forgive it. And wipe it away. Forever.
I hope Mike is as thankful for his hole as I am.
(He should also be thankful for his height. Not many people are tall enough to see the hole.)
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