The pain of loving

Today has been a killer day in the parenting department. Actually, all week has been tough. I think sometimes sin gets hold of our hearts in certain ways that just kind of run us over for a time. Olivia and I both are struggling - her with being argumentative and me with being patient and gracious. I was going to put a note on my refrigerator months ago that just said MORE GRACE - to remind myself to give it, live it for their sake. I certainly don't need a sign that says REMEMBER TO FOLLOW THE RULES or CONSISTENTLY ENFORCE OBEDIENCE. I am naturally a legalist, always have been. Our children will not grow up wondering what is expected from them that is for sure. But my fear is that they might grow up a legalist just like me. So I remind myself over and over - MORE GRACE - so that they know, more important than our expectations is One who has met every expectation for obedience and righteousness. There is One who forgives our offenses and makes us right, right away. He doesn't wait for us to get it right or make it right or redo it (like I do). When we repent he says, absolutely and right away, I FORGIVE YOU. I forgave you. No restitution is exacted. I am a restitution exactor. Yuck. We are growing. We practice confession and forgiveness a lot so that we will be reminded that restitution is not exacted from us for every sin, just repentance. Consequences often remain, but the punishment has been fulfilled. Thank you Jesus.

That is not at all where I was headed with this post, as you can see by the pictures. But as I sit here to reflect on the day I am burdened by Olivia losing dessert for certain behaviors and then we end up eating at the fun 1950's diner for dinner. How do you eat at a diner and not have a milkshake?! We did it. Every durn one of us. We all paid the price for her behavior because there was no way we were going to add cruelty to her punishment and eat it in front of her. We are a family, a Body. Our sin and our sanctification effect one another. We all suffered for one, twice. Because then Joseph tripped and fell on our walk back to the car and popped his balloon bunny that the funny man in the restaurant made him. I think we all nearly cried. It is so hard to love other people so much. My life would be so poor if I didn't love them so much.

The pictures. Baseball. I'm not sure who loves it the most in our family. Parenting is intense - you need something to love together as family.





3 comments:

sammye said...

I'm sorry it's been a hard few days.

Joe Joe's form looks really good, i'm impressed.

Michael and Mandy said...

That's the best thing you could have said.
For me and for Joe. :)

Lori said...

Mandy- I really appreciated your post. I appreciated your realness and your bravery for sharing your heart. I know I definitely benefited greatly from it. I too can be so prone toward the legalistic side and though the Lord has changed a good deal of that while we have been here at seminary, I still always have to be aware that this tends to be my bent. "More Grace" was a great reminder to me!
Lori