Mike's mom got me a 2 year!! subscription to Real Simple for my birthday last year. I am thoroughly enjoying it - even though it often takes me an entire month to get through an issue. This month in the Letter from the Editor, she focused on the importance of (women particularly) taking time for yourself. I have to admit that I do crave that. I think I need it - especially being the introvert that I am. (And it took me years, by the way, to realize I was actually an introvert. I really love being with people and studying them. I was a sociology major in college - which is why I had to get a masters degree. Sociology leaves you with little in the way of marketable skills when you graduate. Anyway, it took me a long time to realize that I needed to be alone in order to have the energy to be with people.)
Back to the letter. To prove her point the editor gave a 5:30 a.m. to 10:45 p.m. detail of her day. A day in which the only time she spent with her 1 yr. old was to feed him (dinner), bathe him, and put him to bed. She did nothing with friends and only saw her husband once in the morning - and may not have even talked to him. Her praise for herself at the end of the day was that she had taken time for herself - to exercise.
I started wandering if this whole idea of time to myself is actually biblical? Or is it a construct of a narcissistic culture? Or is it just that the culture has misunderstood the point? Is it a matter of the heart - our motivation for seeking the time and what we do when we have it? Should time alone only be spent in prayer or devotion, like Jesus? I mean, I don't remember ever reading that Jesus and the disciples ever took time for a jog or a massage or wandering the aisles at an antique mall - just to relax. Almost every godly, empty nested woman I know has encouraged me at some time or another to take time for myself. The devotional writers, like Nouwen and Foster, talk about the importance of solitude, though they typically define it in terms of some sort of spiritual reflection or devtional activity.
In my life I am doing good to get any time alone and there is constantly the dilemna of how to spend it. You see how I am spending it right now. (I am also watching a cooking show - we don't have cable at home.) I am sure this whole issue is addressed somewhere in my worldview, but Joseph continues to rise at 5:30 a.m. and thus my thinking continues to be a bit fuzzy. But I need some answers because until recently the only place I even had a chance of being alone was the bathroom. In our house in St. ouis I could sneak around the corner to the bathroom and use it without anyone ever noticing. In our condo here in San Diego, everyone sees when you leave the room - and now Olivia skips after me excitedly inquiring (eyebrows raised), "Momma, are you going pee or poop?" And then she designates herself my personal toilet paper butler. "Just a yittle bit more, Momma?"
5 comments:
This has nothing to do with the topic of your post! Just wanted to tell you that I made the Chicken and Arugula Salad in the latest issue of Real Simple. It was super yummy and super easy!
Love you!
Christine!!! How could you show your presence and not give me any of your wisdom!!?? I made it too - it was yummy.
From the "What it's worth dept.":
When you don't get ANY time for yourself the need for it seems so urgent. You never really need as much as you fantasize about (like a week at the beach) If it is regular it is sufficient. I think you can over-analyize the need for it/how you're going to do it/where your're going to do it. In my life i have noticed this: When i plan a significant "quiet time" with the Lord and spread my Bible open - if i'm exhausted, once i get still, i am face down and drooling on the Word. I have gone to the beach with the idea of "i'm getting me some significant personal time" and have ended up in unexpected worhsip and conversation with Jesus. Back to WWJD - Jesus is God, He can stay awake and pray, etc. The disciples were human, they got sleepy. It's OK. Everything doesn't have to be spiritual. One thing i noticed that Kay did during Mitch's illness is that once a week (if possible & it was usually possible) she either went to the gym, had a facial, or pedicure, or manicure. Something personal. It gave her a break, it rejuvenated her and she was taking care of herself. Caregivers have to take care of themselves first. You, Mandy, are a caregiver in many ways. Even if you lock yourself in the bathroom and shower and wash your hair without having to wipe somebody's butt or share anything, find the time to do it. Sleep might be the most "personal"thing you need right now. Just make a plan.
Did you ever find sand buckets and when do you leave to come home?
Well, I am leaving for Starbucks right now for some TTM (time to myself) - last time I did this I ran into a woman that was a combination of Tootsie and Jan - she was a kick in the pants. Needless to say, I had no time to myself, but the conversation was fun. Thanks for your input - it was helpful, really. I did find a couple of cheap buckets and we must have looked needy on the beach beach because some woman came up and gave us another bucket. But if you find something cute...:) We are leaving here on the 19th and will probably take a week to get back. I wish you guys would hurry up!!!!
Starbucks. That's good. That will help you sleep. I saw some cheap buckets at target but no shovels. . By the time we get there it prob. will be too late to fool with buckets.
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